


My Kingdom For a Horse

by pengwinn



Series: Frank Turner Song Fics ~ Arrow Edition [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sorry no smut this time, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 22:23:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7659118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pengwinn/pseuds/pengwinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy and Oliver convince Felicity to attend one of their parties. It doesn't go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Kingdom For a Horse

**Author's Note:**

> What is this story-arc missing? Some angst, of course. 
> 
> We’re going from Felicity’s point of view for this one. We’re also going back to their high school days. 
> 
> I was honestly surprised to hear from Felicity for this fic. The song is very Tommy and Oliver, but Felicity kept yelling in my head, and so here we are. Perhaps we'll get a continuation with this song. Who knows. 
> 
> Any who, here are the verses of this song that inspired some of this fic. 
> 
>  
> 
> “Don’t you ever kind of wish that the world would just stop?  
> That the band would pack up and the curtain would drop?  
> I’ve been stuck inside the same old nights, the same old days off,  
> And I need you now because I can’t get out of this.
> 
> Clean your mirrors, roll your notes out,  
> Put your cards away.  
> That’s a game that I don’t want to play anymore.  
> My head is sore, my throat is raw, and what’s more  
> I’m fifty pounds down to feel empty and poor,  
> Remembering the things that I believed when I was sober and sure.
> 
> And I’m trying to speak straight,  
> But I’m drunk and I’m lonely and you won’t believe me,  
> And I’m trying to see straight,  
> But I’ve been up for days and it scares you away,  
> And I’m trying to keep straight,  
> But I’d trade it all for just five minutes more  
> Of your wandering hands with their simple demands that are  
> All the things I ever wanted, better than the powder and pills,  
> All the things I ever needed, the only thing that doesn’t seem to kill,  
> That still makes me smile.”

She has been at Oliver’s party for two hours when Tommy finally waltzes in. She has been surrounded by their obnoxious, drunk, high, asshole friends for two hours. She has been dealing with Laurel glaring at her and delivering scathing jellyfish compliments for two hours. He has left her alone at this party, drowning without a life preserver, for two god damn hours. 

 

So of course she’s drunk. She’s been pounding back shots and drinks for two hours to try and ease the tension in her chest. She’s been ignoring the worried looks from Oliver and chasing each drink with another so that she doesn’t have to think about how uncomfortable she feels and how much she wants to go home. 

 

She promised them she’d stay the whole party. 

 

She promised them she’d spend the night at Oliver’s or Tommy’s, and that she’d loosen up and have fun. 

 

He’d promised he’d be there the whole time.

 

Tommy Fucking Merlyn. What an asshole liar he was. 

 

He’s smiling his carefree, playboy smile, a mischievous glint in his eyes that makes her want to punch him directly in the teeth. 

 

He must sense that something’s not quite right, because his eyes change when he meets hers and he regards her with a confused frown. “Everything okay, Lis?”

 

“Oh, just peachy Merlyn. Just. Fucking. Peachy.” She stands up a little too quickly and wobbles on her heels, grasping the banister next to her for balance. “Nice of you to finally show up. I’m leaving.”

 

Tommy looks flabbergasted as she pushes past him, but she doesn’t care. The anger she feels underneath her skin is driving her. As she storms down Oliver’s driveway her legs wobble so she pauses to kick off her heels and carry them instead. Briefly she thinks about how unpleasant the walk back to her apartment in the Glades will be sans shoes, but she doesn’t really care. She’s had a shit day, and this has been a shit end to a shit day, which was a shit end to a shit week, and she just wants to curl up in bed and pretend the world doesn’t exist for a few hours.

 

Honestly, Felicity wants the world to just stop. 

 

She’s working almost every night at the coffee shop, trying to help her mom with the bills that can’t seem to stop piling up. She’s struggling to keep her grades up so that she can get into a good college (she’s starting to think MIT is out of the question). She wants to get out of this town even more than she’d wanted to get out of Vegas, and she can feel her chance slip through her fingers more and more each day. 

 

Ever since she became friends with Tommy Merlyn and Oliver Queen, her life has been one long string of complicated, dramatic days and lonely emotional nights. When Tommy struck up a friendship with her last year in chemistry class, she hadn’t really expected it to last. Tommy and Oliver are the stereotypical jock dude-bros that are popular and charming and get away with whatever they want because of their socioeconomic status. Felicity is a nerdy, awkward, quiet weirdo who goes through life trying to be as invisible as possible. 

 

Tommy and Oliver are anything but invisible.

 

She had expected their tentative friendship to flicker and die out over the summer. Instead, she had spent almost every day at one of their gigantic houses. Even on days when she’d tell them she was busy, they’d show up at her work and drag her out telling her she needed to relax, she needed to unwind, she needed to loosen up and have fun. 

 

Sometimes she really fucking hated them. 

 

They were so naive sometimes. They didn’t understand the way the world really worked. Everything was handed to them, silver spoons and all that. They didn’t have to work. They didn’t have to earn good grades. They didn’t have to do anything. They did whatever they wanted and fuck the consequences. It was beyond frustrating. 

 

Frustrating. She laughs at herself. Yeah, she was frustrated. Oh, was she frustrated. When you spend every waking moment with someone as drop dead gorgeous as Tommy Merlyn, frustrated becomes your new default mode. 

 

“Felicity! Damn it, stop for one fucking second would you?!”

 

She stops and spins on the pavement, somehow not having noticed that Tommy had followed her out of the house. “What, Tommy? What do you want?”

 

“I want you to fucking talk to me, for one. Why are you leaving? What the hell happened?”

 

She tries not to stare at the way his chest heaves with exertion. 

 

Apparently she had been walking so fast he needed to jog to catch up to her. He’s sporting a light sheen of sweat that makes his skin glisten. Of course he would look amazing even while sweaty. What the actual fuck.

 

“Tommy, you said you’d be there! You left me alone with Laurel! With all of those assholes! I didn’t want to be there, and you knew I didn’t want to be there, and you made me go anyway, and then you weren’t fucking there!”

 

His eyes soften and his shoulders sag, and he steps closer to her with his arms extended. “I’m sorry, Lis. I didn’t mean to be so late.”

 

She’s feeling the weight of all her late nights and the burn of all the drinks catch up to her at once, so she steps into his arms and breathes in his smoky scent, resting her head against his chest. She tries not to think about how perfectly she fits against him, how nice it feels when his arms come up around her and tug her a little bit closer. “I didn’t want to be there, Tommy. I just want to go home.”

 

“I know, Lis. I’m sorry. I…” He takes a deep breath and she feels it reverberate against her cheek. “Dad came home today, for the anniversary. He wanted me to go to the grave with him and I…I…I got caught up. I’m sorry.”

 

The last of her anger leaves in a huff of breath as she realizes what day it is. She feels incredibly stupid. Oliver’s impromptu Wednesday night party makes so much more sense now. Tommy’s insistent pleas for her to join them makes so much more sense. She’s such an idiot. “No, Tommy, I’m sorry.” She murmurs, looking up at him and bringing her arms up to hug him tightly. “I forgot. Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m all right.” He’s lying, but she decides to let it go. “Are you okay? What happened? How much have you had to drink?”

 

Felicity laughs and pulls back from his hug. “Nothing out of the ordinary, really. The dude-bros all stared at me, wondered why I was there…asked which one of you I was fucking.” She smiles at him and rolls her eyes at the way he waggles his eyebrows. 

 

“You told them it was me, right?”  
  
“Obviously.” She laughs again and shrugs. “And of course, Laurel did her very best to try and get me to leave.”

 

Tommy groans. “I’ve tried, Lis, I swear-“  
  
“It’s not your fault, Tommy. It’s Oliver’s.” She sits down on the grass of Oliver’s front lawn, stretching her legs out in front of her and leaning back on her palms. He joins her and matches her pose, tilting his head back to look at the sky. 

 

“Everyone knows how he feels about you.”  
  
“Yup. Everyone, including Laurel.”

 

“Not everyone knows how you feel about him, though.”

 

At this, Tommy turns to look at her and she quirks her eyebrow at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Oh come on, Felicity. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

 

“Have you now?” She turns to face Tommy, crossing her legs underneath her. “And how exactly do you think I look at Oliver Queen?”  
  
“Like he’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen?” Tommy scoffs, laughing as he shrugs. “Like you’ve wanted him as much as he’s wanted you for the last year and a half?”

 

Felicity rolls her eyes. How could he be so stupid? How could he not see that it was never Oliver? 

 

Oliver Queen is gorgeous, absolutely. He is also stubborn, arrogant, and entitled. Sure, he’s her friend. He’s one of her best friends in the entire world. He’s sweet, and often well-intentioned, but he’s selfish. He’s selfish and spoiled, and doesn’t know how to handle not getting what he wants. 

 

Tommy Merlyn isn’t any of those things. He pretends to be, but that’s what it is. Pretending. It’s a coping mechanism. A facade to protect himself. He’s kind, and caring, and giving, and self-sacrificing. He often puts his own needs and desires aside so that Oliver can be happy. 

 

Felicity has been friends with Tommy and Oliver for a year and six months. She has been in love with Tommy for a year and five months. 

 

“You’re an idiot, Tommy Merlyn.” She grumbles. 

  
He laughs at her again. “It’s okay, Felicity. You’re not the first girl to be in love with Oliver Queen. And if he had any idea how you felt, he’d dump Laurel in a heartbeat to be with you.”  
  
“Right. He’d get a tumble in bed with me, and then he’d realize that he was ruining his reputation with the resident goth freak and move on to the next hot blonde. Or he’d end up back with Laurel, because we know how that usually goes.”

 

“I suppose you’re right.” He smiles at her and her stomach flips a bit. “So what’s going on with you? You’ve been on edge for the whole week.”

 

Felicity sighs. Of course he noticed. Tommy Merlyn is one of the most observant people she’s ever met, and it’s incredibly irritating. “It’s just been a rough week. Month. Whatever.” She shrugs and lays back against the grass. She hears Tommy shift and lay down next to her, an arm’s length away. “I’m just tired. I’m not sleeping again, and I got a C- on my Trig test so I’m feeling stupid and like I’m going to fail everything and never get into MIT, and…”

 

“Mhm. And I suppose none of this sour mood has to do with Cooper?” 

 

Observant asshole. She grumbles. “How long have you known?”

 

“Felicity. We spend every single day together. I’ve known since two days after you started sleeping with him again.”

 

She groans. “It’s only been a couple of times, Tommy. It’s just…it’s simple. It’s easy. I don’t have to think about it, it just kind of happens and…”  
  
“Yeah, and he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve you.” 

  
The edge to his voice startles her. She knows Tommy doesn’t like Cooper, but this is new. “I know he’s not the greatest, Tommy. It’s not like we’re dating. We tried that and it was a disaster. This doesn’t mean anything. It’s just friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. It’s just a way to blow off steam. I mean…it’d be ideal if it was someone besides Cooper. I know that. I’d obviously prefer it was-“  
  
“Oliver. Right.” He interrupts her. She looks at him out of the corner of her eye. His eyes are closed and his jaw is clenched. 

 

“No. Not Oliver.” She murmurs. At that, his eyes open and he stares at her.   
  
“Not Oliver?” He questions. 

 

“Not Oliver.” She confirms, nodding at him. 

 

“Then who?”

 

She’s about to answer him, finally tell him, the liquid courage coursing through her veins giving her a confidence she knows she won’t feel tomorrow, but its at that moment that Oliver shows up. 

 

“There you two are. You’re missing all the fun.” 

 

Felicity looks up at him and rolls her eyes. He’s wasted, drunker than she is by a landslide. His shirt has disappeared and he’s grinning like an idiot. He offers her a hand to help her off the ground and she takes it without question. He uses the motion to pull her into his arms and hug her tightly, lingering just a little too long. 

 

She sees Tommy shake his head. Damn it. 

 

Oliver releases her and turns to Tommy, his grin somehow growing even wider.

 

“Sorry Ollie. Lis just needed a minute away from the crowd. You know how she gets with too many people around.”

 

Her heart stutters at the thought that Tommy’s picked up on her anxious quirks. God, she loves him. 

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Oliver nods. “Let’s get on back there. The guys are all asking where you are dude.” 

 

Tommy and Oliver turn to leave together and Felicity follows behind slowly. 

 

Someday, she’ll tell him. Someday.

 

 

~FIN~

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, here's a link to the song that gives this fic the title.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHpWK9HzN5g


End file.
